7/31/2017 – NFL CTE Response Strategies

Click this link if you don’t want NFL football to be banned!

That’s called a “clickbait”.

In light of the growing evidence that football collisions lead to serious and permanent brain damage, the NFL is working round the clock to develop a strategy to keep making obscene amounts of money.  Here are a few of their early ideas:

1. After big collision distract everyone by pointing at a cheerleader and yelling “look, titties!”

2. Stop paying players. Not liable if concussed as volunteer 

3. Special “farm” that retired players go to where they can live in peace and without loved ones noticing tiny, TINY amounts of brain damage 

4. Helmet that goes over first helmet and wrapped in a pillow

 5. Answer media requests with Mike McCarthy press conference transcripts to lull reporters to sleep 

6. Remind fans that the alternative is preseason hockey 

7. Reassure the public that without healthcare, people will be dying well before CTE symptoms show anyway

8. Point out that Ben Roethlisberger has raped less people following each concussion


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