DMV – Portales, NM

Five out of five stars.

I love this DMV! I go here for all of my legal driving and automobile registration needs. I used to buy bootleg renewal stickers from my neighbor Donny, but now that he’s doing a stint for stealing Van Halen CDs from Walmart (again!) I have been bringing all of my business here. It’s a little more expensive, but I don’t have to deal with Donny’s stupid German Shephard slobbering all over my clean polo shirts when I go to Portales’ BEST DMV location.

The DMV gets a bad rap because people don’t like waiting in line. Well I got news for you, buster: life is full of lemons and it ain’t always a box of chocolates so maybe it’s time to put up or shut up. The really neat thing about this DMV is when you get there and they give you a number, they also put all of the other numbers up on a big screen so you can tell how much longer you have to wait. It’s like being at a high-tech deli, but without the distracting meats.

One time I brought a bunch of bingo cards and handed them out to the other people in line but everyone that day was being a Grumpy Gus except for one old lady who ended up confused because she always plays Bingo at church so she thought that was where she was for a little bit. I’m glad they still gave her a driver’s license. She was so nice and probably has cats. Cats can’t drive in New Mexico.


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