Starmount Life Insurance, Baton Rouge, LA

0 stars.  There’s this guy who is always wandering the street I live on mumbling to himself about jello. I tried to take out a life insurance policy on him as it seemed like a pretty sound investment given his near-death condition. As a recovering gambling addict, I have found that life insurance speculation allows me to satisfy my betting urges in a way that my wife can’t find out. I did this a couple of years ago with Gary Schandling to excellent results.

Anyway, the lady who “helped” me said that I had to have an insurable interest in a person to purchase a life insurance policy on them with myself as the beneficiary. I explained to her how empty the neighborhood would seem in a couple of months when this guy croaks but she didn’t think that was sufficient proof that I had an interest in his remaining alive. That’s really a very unfortunate way to go through life, always assuming the worst in someone. I know plenty of people who don’t like their kids and Starmount still lets them buy life insurance on them.

Things ended up working out because my friend Marko bet me fifty bucks that this guy makes it to the 4th of July.

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