December 22, 2016 SPECIAL GUEST WRITER!

netscape

Hey guys, this week we have a very special guest writer and I’m very excited that he’s agreed to write about this week’s topic.  He’s traveled a long way to be with us today- all the way from 2001!  I’ll let him take it from here- thanks for contributing to the blog, 15-year-old version of Mike!  Today’s topic is Mark Zuckerberg.   -Mike Stan (age 30)

Whatever.  Who is Mark Zuckerberg?  Sounds like a real d-bag.  I tried to look him up but I’m waiting on stupid Limewire to download the new Staind album- it’s a pretty fast connection so I’ll probably have the whole CD in two or three days.  Staind kicks ass, you guys.  They were discovered by Fred Durst but I bet in 2016 everyone already knows that.  How many Limp Bizkit albums are there by now?  Probably like a dozen.

It must be nice to live in the future where you don’t have to depend on gasoline to power your car.  It’s like 4 bucks a gallon right now.  I don’t give a shit, though because I can’t even drive so whatever.  OH!!! OH!!!! You looked!!!  I was doing that thing where I put my hand in the “ok” gesture and you looked so now I get to hit you!  HAHAHA two for flinching, pussy!  Wow, can’t believe you fell for that.

Anyway, if I had to guess what a Mark Zuckerberg was, I would imagine it’s some scientist because it’s a total nerd name.  Did he, like, figure out global warming or something?  You guys probably don’t even know what I’m talking about.  Global warming was this thing that everyone worried about in 2001, I don’t know how long it takes to fix it but believe me in 2001 it seemed like a big deal.

I wonder what CDs are like for you guys.  Are they super small now?  I bet it’s way quicker to burn your favorite CDs in the future.  Hey, where’s your phone?  I have to call my mom because I’m supposed to be home by ten thirty cause it’s a school night.  Where is your your phone?  What do you mean you don’t have a “land-line”?  All phones are land lines, you idiot!  Seriously, my mom’s going to freak out if I don’t tell her where I am.

Well, it’s good to know that in fifteen years I’ll be successful enough to have my own blog.  I bet I’m super rich by now, too.  Man, I bet I get to hang out with my friends all the time and play video games whenever I want.  I wonder what all my friends are up to in 2016.  I bet we all still stay in touch because I know my friends right now are the most important friends I’ll ever have.  High school is probably the most important time of your life- I bet everyone still remembers who was a loser freshman year.

Do you guys still play the Penis Game?  You know, the one where you say “penis” as loud as you can in class without the teacher figuring out who said it?  It’s hilarious.  Hey, I gotta go before my parents ground me.  We should hang out again sometime, though.  Maybe play some hacky-sack and watch the latest Adam Sandler movie.  -15-year-old Mike

 

 

 


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