US Post Office, Cornwall, CT

All I wanted to do was to send a Christmas present to Jewel. The clerk told me that she did not know Jewel’s address, even after I sang the first two verses of “I Was Meant For You”. I’m pretty sure she knew but was just being coy. She also tried to tell me that the US Postal Service would not ship a package that was visibly leaking. It was not leaking- there was maybe a TINY BIT of Axe Body Spray on the package for shipping purposes. At worst it was damp. If anybody knows Jewel’s address it would be nice to get this gift to her before the potatoes go bad. I’m pretty sure it’s in Alaska if that helps.

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